Oh Yeah. That.

Artomatic opens today.

To say I’m nervous is like saying I’m right-handed.

I’ve worked really, really hard for the last couple months to make this thing great.  I’m scared that it might fall flat on people, that it might be too much or perhaps not enough.

The art I’m showing is some of the newer, textured stuff–Revolt!Aloha!, TYDJ, Poison Increase, CUM, I Will Never Become The Man I Want To Attract.  I’m proud of how my work has evolved and how my process has become exponentially more refined as I clarify vision and identity.

I’m still likely to fall on my face.  I have a friend, hereafter referred to as And His Wife, who says that Art is terrifying because you have to really put yourself out there. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but she is spot-on.

It’s the fear, and the navigating through and around that fear, that’s important.  If you have too much of it, it’s overwhelming and you can’t focus.  Not enough and you’re playing too safe.  People talk about art as risk, and there’s a truth to that—pushing yourself to figure out new ways to mine your experience for something that’s universal/poignant/beautiful/worthwhile isn’t for everyone.

Some days I wonder if I have it in me.  Then again, the same could be said for getting out of bed.

Artomatic is a ladder that leads up.  Where that ‘up’ is, and what it means, I can’t really tell yet.  But things are changing, and I get the sense that if I pay attention and keep focused, I can steer that evolution.

So I’m frightened but happy.  Wish me luck, people.

Daily Sonic Fix: James Brown - There It Is

The Art of Letting Go.

When I was a kid I totally wanted to live in a geodesic dome! Buckminster Fuller has been my hero ever since. That said, this picture has nothing to do with the following post.

I’m really happy that my friend the New Ageist has found someone special. The lucky suitor isn’t who I would have pegged for TNA, but what matters is the way my friend’s eyes light up when he talks about said suitor.

That’s really all I have to say about that issue.

On an absolutely unrelated topic, the reason why some break-ups get so nasty is that they should have happened sooner. Had the ending been months/years earlier, it might have been amicable. Instead, people drag these affairs out, and they become textbook exercises in resentment, indignant pride, and wholly self-inflicted drama.

Sticking with a failing relationship just so you can claim the invisible/worthless badge of “LTR of X number of years” might be seductive, especially when it’s such an uphill struggle to have homo relationships validated. I can see the allure, but I also see it for the poison that it so easily becomes.

No names. They’re not necessary. Let’s move on.

So I have high cholesterol. It’s not so dangerous that I’m going to keel over tomorrow, but it’s something that’s better to deal with now rather than after my first heart attack. Part of the problem is hereditary, but the greater part of that is my horrible diet.

I’ve been changing my eating habits over the past couple weeks. I’ve almost given up red meat, poultry and dairy entirely. I have to resist anything that comes from a deep fryer, despite how much I love the taste.

I was a vegetarian for a couple years in my early twenties. Unlike some avowed carnivores, I like vegetables and grains. I just don’t think of them so much as food, but rather something that’s served alongside food.

We’ll see.

Today’s Sonic Fix: Liz Phair - What Makes You Happy

I swear this one is gonna last! And all those other bastards were only practice.

I Suck @ Blogging.

More to the point, I’ve got too much to do and not enough time to do it.  Blogging, even about the upcoming Artomatic show, is secondary to actually getting the work done.

The more correct way of saying how things are is that I’ve got a lot of ideas, and it’s become a matter of shaving off the crap ones or the ones that are impractical considering the time investment.

I’m hanging my art and installing lights tonight.  The New Ageist and Also Sean will be in tow to make this happen.

I’ve got the boneheaded notion that I’m going to build a table so I can put Pop all over it.  “Pop” in retail terms is best defined as cards, brochures, etc.  Mine will be a bit, um, different.  If you’ve read the ‘Show for more than a minute, you ought to not be surprised at this.

Also, I need to actually knock out all this Pop.

So far I’ve met lots of very talented art folks during the installation phase.  I’ll do a separate name-checking post sometime soon.

This Friday is the show’s opening.  THIS. FRIDAY.

For those of you who can’t make Artomatic’s opening on May 9th, there’s a make-up date.  On Friday, May 16th there’s an exercise in egowhoring known as “Meet the Artist Night”.  It runs from 7-10pm and is something I sorta dread.  I simply don’t think my art is so interesting that I should talk about it for three solid hours—then again, I think if you need three hours to fluff your art, it’s probably shit. I can’t speak for other people, but I don’t do the art thing to discuss the art when it’s made.

I’m nervous to see the reactions of people who don’t know me, people who aren’t obligated to say nice things about what I’m doing.  I know I probably shouldn’t care, but I do.  This part—the place where doubt and worth and isolation intermingle—is scary and awesome in equal turns.

I’m struggling, but it’s not so bad.  I’ve just got to keep focus on what’s happening.

Today’s Sonic Fix: Letting Up Despite Great Faults - If You’re Here Today

Unrelated to Artomatic, I’m looking for donations of art/fashion/culture/technology magazines and books.  Also trashed comics.  The older and/or more distressed these are, the better.  Consider it a more creative way to recycle stuff you don’t want anymore.  Shoot me an email (swatsecretwormdotcom) to handle the details.

Progress/Self-Portrait

I cranked out most of my Artomatic installation this past weekend.  It’s either srsly rad or remarkably foolish, and I can’t tell because I’m in the middle of it.

But I think it’s as done as it’s gonna be.  It doesn’t look like much here, but when presented at its full size—12 by 8 feet—it’s quite a lot to take in.  Detail pics may be found on my flickr.

This is me trying to draw out the sliver of doubt that’s crawled under my skin.

I’m going to work on lighting this week.  Probably something that looks industrial but can be use softer, whiter light bulbs.  Also, I’ll want something I can repurpose later.

The week before AoM I’ll be hanging art, deciding what goes where and what this is supposed to mean.

Today’s Sonic Fix: Special Ed - I Got It Made

Half the game is just keeping your head up.

The Week In Review.

I’m busy with cranking out details and ideas for this year’s Artomatic.  A little bit overwhelming, but I’m doing my best to just work hard and focus on what I want to present.  If you really care about this sorta behind-the-scenes stuff, you can check out my AoM 2K8 Meta Flickr.

I had a physical for the first time in a few years yesterday.  Apparently, even with the added weight I’ve packed on over the past year, I’m still quite healthy.  Go figure.

My hair is getting freakishly long.  More to the point, it’s practically unmanageable.  I’m all for the just-outta-bed look, but this is getting ridiculous.  Perhaps you people ought to send me ideas for a new, interesting haircut.  Otherwise, I may just shave it all off.  I’ve got a good-shaped melon, so going bald isn’t a bad look for me.  Still, I suppose I ought to do something with this mop.  Gimme some ideas/pictures.

I’ll be banging out drinks at the Yuppie Chow Hall this weekend.  Daddy has bills to pay, so come out for a drink or five and tip me like a high-class stripper.

Oh yeah…I joined muthafucking Facebook.  Mostly because if I get another piece of crap spam from some myspace pornbot, I’m gonna lose it.  So expect a major retreat from my already-minor immersion in myspace.

Daily Sonic Fix: Grovesnor - With Every Heartbeat (Robyn cover)

This song was pretty awesome to begin with it, but this slightly off-kilter version is just heartbreaking.  And I loves me some Robyn.  Things I hadn’t known before: the ridiculously cool album she’s currently promoting was produced by The Knife.  Go figure.

Thanks

…to everyone who came out to Yuri’s Night.  Despite feeling a little under the weather, I did my best to bounce back.

Lots of the cool kids showed up.  There were cameras floating about.  You do the math.

Miss Saturn was awesome.  And as I have the coordination of a drunk second-grader, anyone who can make six hula hoops swirl around their bodies is bitchin’.

My two best friends—New Ageist and Ponder—made my show.  I love these guys, and I’m grateful.

I’ll be posting more over the coming week.  I’m working like mad to get stuff set up for Artomatic.  Expect photos of progress.

Yuri’s Night Out is still BONO.

By the by, I’m still participating in Art Whino’s one-night only Yuri’s Night Out.  That’s tomorrow, for those of you with faulty timekeeping skills.  Okay, me.  Whatever.

Even if you have already pegged me for the pathetic hack that I am think I kinda suck, it still ought to be a really rad show.  Two artists I greatly admire—Scott G. Brooks and Alan Difabaugh—will also be showing art, among many others.

There will also be a burlesque show, a rock band playing space music and DJs.  Vodka by Stolichnaya (It’s Russian, like Yuri Gagarin.  Get it?) will make the trip to and from Alexandria all better.  And Art Whino is actually a pleasant walk from the Braddock Road Metro stop.  Go figure.

The Facts:
Date/Time: Saturday, April 12, 8 pm – 2 am.
Location: Art Whino, 717 N. Saint Asaph Street, Alexandria, VA 22314, 703.462.4135
Tickets: $20 in advance, $25 at the door. Admission includes three drink vouchers for Stoli’s Cosmic Concoctions. 21+ only. Visit www.outofthisworldparty.com for advance sales or call 703.462.4135.

More About Yuri’s Night:
April 12, 1961 Russian Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin embarked on the historic first manned space flight. Twenty years later on 12 April 1981, the US launched the first space shuttle flight. We think that’s something worth celebrating! Every year on April 12th Yuri’s Night parties are held all around the world; it’s like the St. Patrick’s Day or Cinco de Mayo for space. Visit http://www.yurisnight.net for a list of worldwide parties.

In other news, site selection for Artomatic is tomorrow as well.  Not very exciting for most of you people, but picking your turf so that forty thousand people will come see your unabashed artfaggotry is pretty awesome.

Expect me to be perpetually frazzled and have at least sixty four nervous breakdowns before game day (that’s May 9th, btw).  I’m doing my best to stay steady and knock stuff out as it comes.

Emil has the BEST hair!

Okay, okay…so maybe I’m not entirely done cranking out tee-shirts.

Considering that I’ve been spending the past year working on art that was much more sophisticated and thoughtful, it’s been a pretty cool release to just make arty schlock for the heck of it.  I’ve also been tinkering with some character design stuff that won’t likely make its way into my so-called serious art.

This guy, Emil, isn’t based on any actual man I know, but looks kinda cool.  Y’know, cuz he grows his hair long to make a statement.  You can buy this, or peruse my other shirts, at my RedBubble store.

I may drop some more character-driven crap art via tee-shirts sooner rather than later.  It feels good to have some momentum going.

Don’t fret, though—I have another series of art in the works too.  I have to line up some stuff to make it happen, and that I’m involving other people in this project ought to be equally rad and daunting.  We’ll see.

Thanks go out to all of you who are now proud owners of secretworm apparel.  Shoot me a pic of you in your new gear.

Daily Sonic Fix: Radiohead - Weird Fishes (Amplive Remix)

Of the multitude of remixes that have been dropped from In Rainbows, this is among my favorites.

Bitch Bitch Bitch.

My housemate puts the neighborhood on lockdown:

Crappy Blue Car w/ Super Sensitive Alarm (Q & New Jersey NW)

Reply to: pers-636621877@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-09, 7:44PM EDT
No one wants to steal your crappy blue car that is always parked on Q st NW near New Jersey. There are much nicer cars w/out alarms that park all around you and are fine. Your PoS car annoys the entire block and pisses us all off with the alarm going off at least 15 times a day whenever someone drives or walks near it or a heavy vehicle passes by. WTF is wrong with you?

He is not the one with whom to fuck.

That is all.

Daily Sonic Fix: Bill Moss - Sock It To ‘Em, Soul Brother

SW Distressed Logo Tee

I am good at distress. There’s a metaphor if I ever heard one.

This is the last tee-shirt I do for a while.  It was a fun little distraction project, and I learned some stuff about typesetting and printmaking that I hadn’t thought about previously.  I’d been too caught up in the process of making that I hadn’t really sat down to learn anything about how to move the crap I generate into the alleged real world–paper, cloth, whatever.

As far as art goes, I’m in the process now of printing, sorting, deciding for upcoming shows.  Which piece goes where and their relationships accordingly.  I’ve got some new ideas for a small series I want to explore, but not until Artomatic and the SKIN show are up.

I hate the business end of art.  Let me be clear: I’m not averse to selling stuff I make in the slightest.  In many cases, I’m ready to part with most of my work the minute it’s made public.  The part I don’t like is convincing people to like my work and, through proxy, to like me.  But this is how to make connections, get gallery representation, meet art brokers—and this is how you make a living in art.  I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s a little like whoring yourself out.

I don’t make art to sell some sort of personality cult.  It’s a creative release, and I’m glad people connect with the stuff I’ve put out so far.  But really, I don’t intend put much of my ego into my work—it’s the in-the-moment state of removing oneself from the process that I find works best.  There’s a lot of similarities to automatic writing, in that I don’t always have a conscious goal in mind, but I have a guiding idea that blooms.

The tee-shirts were different in terms of the rules and structure involved.  Also, I was pretty shameless in using the secretworm name as a focal point—these aren’t just tee-shirts, but they’re billboards to sell my “real” art.  So there was more conscious thought put into these pieces.

So yeah…I’m done with making tee-shirts for a couple months.  Go find one you love here.

Daily Sonic Fix: Archie Bell & The Drells - Tighten Up
Bonus Sonic Fix: The Bamboos - Tighten Up

Archie Bell’s biggest song has been covered and sampled by all sorts of people, but the original remains my favorite.  A first runner-up goes to Australia’s Bamboos, who turn it into a beautiful rambling jazz piece that’s perfect for struttin’ on with yo’ baaaaaaad self.

Maybe this is why people look at me funny when I’m walking down the street.